Well we made it. It’s 2:30 and all seem to be asleep pretty soundly. SHHHHHHH. It was not easy.
We got up early this AM, as in 5:00 because Duncan nor I could sleep due to the excitement. Unfortunately I really didn’t fall asleep until 3:45 so, well , you can do the math. Trying to be quick here but I know if you get one day behind you are screwed.
I capitulated again to swimming boy so we ran up there to swim before coming back and changing to eat. I think somewhere in there was a long time of Skyping with Marie and the Kids.
Sandra was to pick us up at 8:45 so we had to get everything together that we needed to bring – gifts, clean/ironed clothes we were wearing, paperwork she said to bring (note I say “she said to bring” and not all the paperwork.
We went down at 8:30 to wait and to exchange money. I think the Chinese money actually dissolves within 24 hours of getting it. Seems to be going fast. Though I know part of it is the exchange difference which makes 100 RMB = $15 and the cute littlest coin worth, as I calculate $ 0.0015 or like 0.15 cents. By the time I was done (you need to sign an official form in triplicate for the exchange, presumably so they can keep track of you) Sandra was there. Sandra is a youngish (25 – 30 YO) Chinese national. He speaks great English and drives a 4 door Peugeot (first one I noticed) like a surgeon through traffic.
The drive was uneventful, though nearly wasn’t as every five minutes there is a near miss in (probably any) car where we end up between two other cars, on either side, way too close.
We got to the building which is the Adoption Service Center, a non-descript 9 story office building. We went to the 4th floor conference room and Sandra left us there to wait. In three minutes she returned. We’re to be in 9th floor conference room. So we grabbed the legions of gift bags, etc. and went up there. In there was another family, also waiting
We walk in and the mom says “Eric!” I said no, Pete. She said oh, that’s right, Pete. Elaine and her two daughters are from Charlotte and the girls are 15 and 20. This is their 4th China Adoption. She had a 3 ring binder. With all the paperwork, in little plastic sleeves. They were super-nice and easy to talk to which helped cut the tension. Adopting a 3 ½ YO girl.
Next step, paperwork. I guess because we didn’t do enough before, we had to fill out a little booklet with all the same information we gave already – just basic stuff – and then we had to sign like seven different papers. Long, but easy enough.
Then we wait – but it really wasn’t too bad maybe five minutes.
Finally they came in. It was a flurry. See the video. Elaine’s younger daughter took like a hundred pictures of us and Sandra video taped it. Kai was great – not reserved or anything. And gave us five and was incredibly helpful and supportive with Finn, who was a little iffy about this arrangement. I am guessing he did not fill out all the paperwork we did. One of Finn’s nannies was there which helped (initially – she hid when we left). It was an astounding surreal experience.
Time to leave. Elaine’s crew (and quiet, reserved daughter) left first. Then us. As it worked out they got Finn to hold Kai’s hand and that seemed to be best. Duncan was trying so much to be a good big brother and did a great job. But his Chinese is weak. Finn started to cry as we headed to the elevator and continued. Downstairs I carried him (like carrying the Tasmanian devil) to the car. We decided (screaming to hear each other) that I would ride in the back with K and F and Duncan in the front.
The drive there (rush hour) was really quick. THE drive home, not rush hour, took 3x as long. Finn cried the whole way and kept pointing to the window – LET ME OUT. Kai was so supportive and helpful until the last ten minutes when I think it started to sink in. He got very quiet and then, despite my consoling, started to cry.
The Hotel Lobby was a scene from a horror movie. I think that I carried Kai and Duncan held Finn’s hand. We rushed in like the president would into a meeting, with the staff grabbing our stuff and coming behind us. The first 15 minutes in the room was a screamfest in the entrance way. Duncan finally got the whole thing calmed down (I need to ask him what he did – I forget). Our props – stuffed animals, balls, little cars, colored pencils, were all used and all helped. Finally after maybe ½ hour there was some settling. Lots of playing with toys, drawing (Finn), looking out the window (we’re on the 26th floor), and photography (Kai loves it). Oh yes, and Nintendo DS. Kai loves it and it calms him down a lot. Makes Duncan mad. A lot. We have a plan to fix that problem tomorrow.
We were hungry and I felt brave, so we agreed to walk the 2 blocks to McDonalds. McDonalds went very well, including the eating and the walk both ways.
Then we came back and had some Playing in Hotel. The Nintendo thing got worse. Duncan mad because Kai using all his toys.
(rushing here – I decided to just take ½ hour and time is up = - I need to sleep)
Decided to go swimming. Couldn’t explain it so we (super-helpful Duncan) grabbed all the stuff and he put his suit on. Up there Kai finally got it and got his (too big) suit on and got in. Finn wanted nothing to do with it. So Finn and I sat by pool and played ball with D and K. We stayed 90 minutes with only Kai lasting all the time. Duncan was tired (see 5:00 AM, above) and falling asleep so we bolted up to room, changed, and then up to eat at least something on the 30th floor Executive Lounge.
The “Dinner Scene” was loud, brief, and harrowing. Had tired Duncan. Kai who already wants to do everything Duncan does, and very well behaved Finn. The brief story is that Finn sat at a table and ate a whole bowl of noodles while the other boys melted down. Duncan sat down to play Miniclips (a practice that I have now banned up there) and of course Kai wanted to too and sat there and pecked at the keyboard and grabbed the mouse. We were 15 minutes early for food so we kinda had to wait.
Finally I shut down the Miniclips (Said NO MORE like 150 times) for all and Duncan stormed off (fortunately he went to other end of lounge as he did realize that with the key access you cant get back to our floor or the 30th but can just get to lobby. Kai went ballistic. There was a LOT of help from one of the women up there, Stephanie, talking to him for about ten minutes, and finally he ate a little bit and calmed down. But then he flipped again so we left.
Back in the room Duncan quickly crashed and was very upset about Kai. I bathed the boys and they played in the tub and then came in the living room and played some more. For a long time and then I gave them warnings (and read some) and gave Finn his bottle and then I said it was bed time. Kai took it pretty well and was very helpful in explaining it to Finn. I layed on the L couch and Finn was in pack and play but there was a lot of screaming so I decided to be a bad dad and let him out. He played on the floor and fell asleep in ten minutes and I put him in Pack and Play. Kai played probably 1 hour more with camera, cars, robot spider and then finally fell asleep. Finn woke like between 12 – 1:30 and cried to get out – Ma Ma and then a number of varying statements again and again. Kai was very supportive of him – got up a few times and hugged him. Finally at 2:15 I woke up and all were asleep.
Day 1. Success I am told. Only possible with Marie’s assurances and advice and digging really deep inside of myself.
Today was one of the most emotional and difficult days of my life. As some that I know and love say: One day at a time. It WILL get better.
No comments:
Post a Comment